She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
