dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.