I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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