we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
