Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
