She is in my trunk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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