dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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