they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
