I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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