the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
