Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
