Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
