omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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