I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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