Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
