dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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