Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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