Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize