508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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