Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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