oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
