we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
