Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Actions speak louder than pants.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
