glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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