hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
