how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
