when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Banned from zoo.
Again?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
