He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
