He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
