worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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