You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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