I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
