i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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