It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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