I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
