Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
