bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
