we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
