i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
