Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
