Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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