kristin has been a bad kristin
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
