I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
