No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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