Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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