Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
