You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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