I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
