i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
