And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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