I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
