When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize