i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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