Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize