I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
