i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I need moral support for this bender
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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