He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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