shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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