we're making bets on your personal life
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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