My nipple is on Facebook.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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