She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
