They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
