Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
