My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Houston, we have a blender
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
