mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
