What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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