Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
