those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
